My mother is not a garage!

From this point forward I will no longer say, tune in tomorrow for (my subject here). Kasey takes everything so literally. You would think I was going to blog about something that was going to change the world as we know it. So my new saying will be TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR (next subject matter).

Life is funny. It takes twists and turns we never expect.

Since my last blog, Charlie has had a procedure on his back and is resting comfortably. I have been advised that my boss, who I love, is being transferred to a new position and I am getting a new boss. So much work goes into training a new boss. The beatings begin on the first day and continue until the desired outcome is achieved.

So for today's story, My Mother is NOT a Garage, Kasey!

I did make a mistake, oh gasp!, when creating today's title. At this time I am sure you are all sitting there thinking, this is not possible. Oh but, it is possible. It seems with each passing day I am more prone to making mistakes.

This story is about my Mother. I believe the year was somewhere around 1991 or 1992. Raymond, Darlene, Mother, Ashley and I were in mom's car, riding down the road, minding our own business. Raymond and Darlene were in the front seat, Mom, Ashley and I were in the back and we were discussing country music legend, George Strait. Raymond stated, quite matter-0f-factly, "George Strait is not a cowboy." I said, "Yes he is he owns a ranch." Raymond says, "Just because you own a ranch does not mean you are a cowboy." I said, "No he even competes in roping and wins." This is when my dear, sweet mother decides to chime in with her two cents. She said, " I believe Raymond is right. Just because George Strait sings country music and owns a ranch does not make him a cowboy. I know this because, I have been in a garage but, I AM NOT A CAR." The laughter that followed this statement was nearly cause for us to have to pull off of the road.

Other stories about my mother are funny because she is not always right on the money with her sayings. People who do not know her may confuse her mixed up quotes for ignorance but, for all of us who know her, we just understand it is her sharp wit at work.

For example:
We were at a ladies meeting at church one Sunday evening. Snacks had been served, what a surprise. The preachers wife was speaking and everyone was listening intently. I looked over at my mother, who was seated next to me near the back of the group and she is digging in her purse. Much to my dismay, a roll of dental floss emerges from her handbag and she proceeds to rip off a fairly long piece of floss. I am sure she is about to mend a garment, or make a bow or anything but floss her teeth. She is way to savvy to do something like that. NOT MY MOTHER. TELL ME SHE IS NOT WRAPPING THAT FLOSS AROUND HER FINGER TO FLOSS... HER .....TEETH. Oh my goodness, she is flossing her teeth. I poked her and told her don't do that. She responded in her most indignant voice, "Shut your face toilet seat" ????? Then I started laughing. Today is 30 years later and I cannot remember exactly what the quote of the day was but, I am quite certain it was NOT, I repeat NOT "Shut your face toilet seat". This saying has remained funny for decades.

So when I make mistakes, take it easy on me. I am just trying to be like my mother.

Tune in next time for "Paper towels. Are they really for single use?"

Hugs and Kisses to the Fam.

Aunt Sis and the Propeller

Growing up in a close knit family is something I thank God for each and everyday. When I was a young child most of my family lived within 30 miles of our home. My mother and her sister had the good fortune to find two brother to marry so our two families shared the same family tree and boy was it crowded and full of life. We have all jokingly call our family tree a stick.


All should be warned, my sense of humor and the way I look at life has been strongly influenced by my family. As I attempt to share my life stories, my only hope is I can relay them in a manor that does them justice. I am certain if you read my blog for any length of time you will get to know several characters from my family. My only hope is that you grow to love them as I do.


Now for today's story.


Sunday in our family always revolved around church and family. Many Sundays played out the same, wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed in our best Sunday go to meeting clothes, gather up offering and Bible, head to Sunday school, come home, put on play clothes, eat lunch, visit family, later eat dinner and then back in Sunday finery for Sunday night church.


My parents have four children. My oldest brother is 14 years my senior, then a sister who is 4 years younger than him. Ten long years later, SURPRISE, I was born, followed closely (2 years later) by my baby brother.


In an effort to keep my mother from loosing her mind, Aunt Sis would take either Rocky or me to her house so mom could have a break. Aunt Sis has three daughters, all much like my sisters and all around the ages of my older siblings. Going to spend the day at Aunt Sis's was a special and wonderful treat.


The excitement of getting to go to Aunt Sis and Uncle Larry's for the day would lead some to believe this is the place where kids get to do whatever they want, run wild, you know jump on the beds, each lots of candy, dig in stuff. This could not be farther from the truth. There were rules and you had to follow them or you just did not get to go to her house for the day.


Every Sunday, Rocky and I would turn on the begging and pleading. This involved jumping up and down while saying "Can I go to Aunt Sis's?" as many times as it took to get a yes. Our cousin, Lowell, had usually been picked up by Aunt Sis and Uncle Larry so he was a given part of Sunday. Rocky and I were chosen as the winner of the trip to Aunt Sis's on alternating Sundays. This system worked well, as it provided a little break for my mother and gave each of us special time alone with our mom and on the flip side provided our special time with Aunt Sis. We were all very happy with the system.


You need to understand, we knew when we were loading up in the car to go to Aunt Sis's, we were going disregard the rules. We knew we were going to make Aunt Sis nuts. We knew...we were going to get a spanking with the fly swatter, (WE WERE NOT ABUSED, don't even try to go there) and still we could not wait to get there.


Upon our arrival at Aunt Sis and Uncle Larry's house we all changed out of our church clothes into everyday, play clothes. Aunt Sis and the older kids would busy themselves with making Sunday dinner. Looking back on Sunday dinner, I now know with a certainty, Aunt Sis was blessed by the Lord. It was like the story in the Bible about the loaves and the fishes. Fried chicken (mentioned in yesterday's blog) was the main course. One chicken was fried, up to ten people were fed and there were always two small pieces leftover for Aunt Lou when she stopped by later in the day. You figure it out. I am calling it a God thing.


After dinner everyone would find their favorite spot to lounge around. This is when Lowell and I would inevitably run down the hall in our sock feet and slide, or bang on the piano, or try to make the dog go into part of the house he was not allowed to go in, or hang on the clothes line, or any other number of things we knew were on the DO NOT DO list. Aunt Sis would say, "Are ya'll running down the hall?" We would say, out of breath from running down the hall, "No." Little did we know she was looking at us while we were lying about running down the hall. Once we noticed she was looking at us, while we were running down the hall, we would try to escape, without the customary spanking.

Don't be fooled, Aunt Sis was a professional. She would wind up that fly swatter and get it going in a circular fashion, much like a propeller. No one could escape. Even if we split up and ran on either side of her, we would both get caught. Wild West Gunslingers have nothing on Aunt Sis. She never missed her target. Once the spankings were out of the way we could get on with the rest of our day.

I love Aunt Sis and loved Uncle Larry until he left this world for a better place. I did receive her approval to shared this story before I posted it here. Yesterday, while reliving these moments in time with her we laughed until we cried. Although this was 40 years ago, it seems like it was just yesterday. Every moment spent with Aunt Sis and Uncle Larry was a wonderful gift from God.

Tune in tomorrow for: My Mother is not a garage.

My Favorite Foods

Let me start of with a side note to my niece, Kasey. Look I figured out how to add a picture to my blog and I fixed the blog list. Go me!


Now for a topic near and dear to my heart, FOOD. I love food. When it comes to food, I think I can speak for my entire family and say "Some people eat to live and we definitely live to eat".


Growing up with a mother from south Louisiana, who by the way is an excellent cook, it is easy to develop a real affection for food. I am not talking about just any old food. I am talking about food that makes your mouth water when you think about it.

Food I love, the short list:

riceandgravymeatballmacaroniandcheese (if you are from my family you get this)
fried shrimp (my mother's style) with tarter sauce made by my cousin Paula (the best)
gumbo (not the kind with tomatoes...dark brown rich and wonderful south Louisiana kind)
most sushi but, unagi is my favorite, Ichibon is my favorite sushi bar
hamburgers and hot dogs off the grill
Chinese food from Chef Lin's Hunan - the best EVER and the owner is a delight
angel hair pasta with tomato cream sauce - made better by sharing with my friend Ruth
Boiled CRAWFISH
corn dogs
Pork roast
B A C O N - if I were a villian I would want to be the Baconator
Queso, guacamole and chips
Cheese enchiladas
Snowcones
Cherry Chip Vanilla Ice Cream - Homemade and hand cranked by my Daddy
Baked potatoes
B L T
Fried Egg Sandwich with cheese
asparagus
Prime Rib - medium rare with horseradish (drip, drip)
Sausage, Egg and Cheese Toaster from SONIC
Sonic ice with just about any beverage
Pumpkin Spice Frappacino from Starbucks (only available in the fall)
Jalapeno boudin kolaches - I love Larry for introducing me to these delights
Apple Fritters - Each Monday is fondly referred to as National Apple Fritter Day - thanks Bill
Watermelon - always sweeter when picked by my Daddy
Crappie - never tasted this until Chris caught them and Charlie fried them - oh so delicious
homemade eggrolls
cornbread dressing - recipe from my mother's cousin Hilda
Chocolate Chip Cookies - made with my friend from high school - Laurie
Ninfa's green sauce
Shrimp pasta salad - my ex-mother-in-law's recipe - thanks Jane
Friday Fish Fry at Craker Barrel - why can't I have this on days other than Friday?
Chicken Strips Hot from Hooters
Banana Pudding - my mother makes the absolute best
Fried Chicken - made by my Aunt Sis back in the day
(wow the memory of Sunday at Aunt Sis's house deserves a Blog all its own, I AM BLESSED to have such fond memories)

I guess that is enough for today.

Tune in tomorrow for

"Aunt Sis and the propeller"

I almost forgot

Tune in tomorrow for:

My favorite foods

Things that make you go hmmmmmmm!

Hello world. I am back for round two of what is on my mind. That in itself is one of the things that should make you go hmmmmmm.

What if the world as we know it is really only one dust speck on the surface of something really huge. hmmmmmmmmm?

Disco???? hmmmmmmmmmmm...

toilet paper that does not remove what it was intended to remove hmmmmmm

having a sex change from a man to a woman and then being a lesbian hmmmmm?!?

street legal cars that will go faster than 100 miles per hour in a country where the speed limit is 70 maximum "hmmmmmmmmm"

Do bubbles hurt when they pop? hmmmmmmmm????

solar nails on your toes hmmmm? WHY?

underware with the days of the week on them hmmmmmmmmmm?

television built into a refrigerator door hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!

MP3 players hmmmmmmmmm:) Like being the owner of your own private radio station

a pedicure hhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm aaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! (that may be a different blog)

Bon Jovi mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!! (that too is a different blog)

Oh my goodness. My daughter said this would happen.....I AM A BLOGGING IDIOT!
hmmmmmmmmm!

Say good night Robbie!

Here I am

Kasey has informed me that I need a blog. So now I have one. What are the chances anyone will ever read this? What are the chances that I have something of interest to say? Well frankly I guess it does not matter if it is of interest or not.

Here goes. These are the things that are on my mind today, July 10, 2008.

People everywhere are tired of being trapped in automated, outsourced hell. If everyone is unhappy about calling a company for customer service and having thier call answered by someone half a world away. The level of frustration increases when the person who answers the phone does not speak your language. To add insult to injury this person has no answers to your questions and no power to offer any type of resolution to your problem. But wait, that is not the best part. My personal favorite is somehow their name is always Bob, yeah right, and they speak to you like you are the most ignorant being on the planet. At what point will we combine together and say ENOUGH ALREADY. If there are so many of us who are unhappy about this, who is making the decisions to outsource our entire country? I am personally afraid that by the time people realize this is huge mistake it will be too late and we will not have a country to save. I am tired of being politically correct, I want a country where we can stand in public and pray, where there will never be a question about IN GOD WE TRUST, a place were our children will have career options without moving to another country. I want to live in the land of the free. I want to honor the brave who fight for the freedom we take for grant. We should once again teach freedom and all of the things this country was founded on. A new policy should be put in place...if you don't like it here save your money and buy a ticket to some place filled with others who think and feel like you. WOW! That must have been trapped inside for a while, it escaped before I could stop it.

On a much lighter note, I am thankful for: a husband that loves me without reservation, three children who are not afraid to love and are growing into fine young adults, parents who love me, siblings, nieces, nephews, and greats of same that love me and are as crazy as the day is long, my family at large, friends who know me and love me anyway, my job, my home, my health, a life time of wonderful memories (most of them entertaining), my ability to see the humor in situations and be able to laugh at myself. Actually, I am thankful for too many things to list here, I would be up all night.

Thank you Kasey for leading me here. I love you and I promise to be more light-hearted with my entries in the future.

For anyone who reads this and does not know me, come back again soon. I am usually not quite this serious.

Tomorrow's topic: Things that make you go hmmmmm!